Anastasia (Dee) Dualla

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Anastasia (Dee) Dualla


January 7th, 2010

I never thought I'd say this, but...

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I think my marriage might have been a mistake.

Don't get me wrong. Do I think Lee cares about me? Sure. I think Lee feels some kind of obligation to hold to the vows that he took. At least while he's still married.

Kara said it herself. He won't cheat because he's too 'honorable'. Of course, being Kara, she's only thinking of a quick frak in the back of a Raptor. She's not taking into account all of the mental and emotional cheating that's already happened.

When I married Lee, I knew I wasn't getting the full man, so I guess I can't really say that I didn't know what I was getting into. I don't think that excuses what he's done and I did expect some level of discretion. Some kind of respect.

Ever since the Dance, speculation about Lee and Kara has been running rampant. Sending your wife after the one person that everyone knows that you've always had a 'thing' for kind of seals the deal. Now, true, usually the people discussing my husband's sex life have the courtesy to shut up when I walk into a room. The looks, the whispers...

Who's fooling who, here? Everyone saw the reunion between Starbuck and Sam when we got back. And just as many people saw Lee looking like someone had just taken away his flying privileges. Or the love of his life.

My marriage is worse than a mistake. It's not even just a lie before the Gods.

It's a joke. And everyone's having fun with the punchline except me.

Oh, and maybe Sam.

Anastasia 'Dee' Dualla
Battlestar Galactica
285 Words

The Morning After

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The morning after, I felt horror, dread and the largest sense of loss... and it was shared with the rest of the fleet. The rest of humanity. But I also felt guilt. Overwhelming guilt.

For several months, my father and I had been going back and forth about my enlistment. Every time I saw him, he made nothing but disparaging remarks about the military and everyone in it, including me.

The house was festively lit. Birthday's were always celebrated big at the Dualla house. Friends and family were invited and no expense was spared. Cake, ice cream, streamers, balloons and everyone dressed up. The alcohol flowed freely and the backyard was lit with dozens of sparkling lights.

"I have an announcement to make," Dee said hesitantly to the group that had gathered to celebrate her 25th birthday. She'd been promoted to Petty Officer Second Class and wanted to share the good news. The people seated around the table on the back porch of her family's spacious home all looked at her expectantly, but her father spoke before she could.

"You finally gave up on your ridiculous military idea?" The scorn in his voice grated on her nerves and she turned to look at him, eyes flashing, as he finished off the Ambrosia in his tumbler.

"It's not something you 'give up', Dad. I've enlisted, which means I can't just resign or quit. I don't WANT to quit. I like like my job and I'm good-"

Her father's scoff cut her off. "It's not but a bunch of emotional cripples and patriotic fools," her father retorted, the derision still dripping from his tongue.

"And which am I?" As much as she didn't want to make a scene at her birthday party, Dee found herself unable to stop the inevitable fight with her father. Again.

Her mother put a hand on her father's forearm and he didn't answer. Instead, her mother said calmly, "I think we're just wondering why a pretty girl like you would choose the military when so many other options were open to you." Dee shook her head, unwilling to make nice, yet again, for the sake of appearances. Her fork went gently onto her plate as she stood, placing her napkin on her chair.

"I wanted to say I believed in something and mean it." Without another word, she turned and headed into the house. A sudden yank on her arm stopped her and she found herself looking up into her father's eyes.

"You walk out of this house-"

This time, Dee cut him off. "Don't worry. I don't want to see you ever again."

It was the last time I talked to my father and to this day, I wish I'd told him that I didn't mean it. Because I believed in him. I like to believe that I'm a hardworking, generous person. And I had to get that from somewhere. I know I got it from my dad.

But the guilt on the morning after was the worst.

Anastasia 'Dee' Dualla
Battlestar Galactica
521 Words

May 31st, 2008

[QM] "It seems to me you're doing excellently without any assistance."

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Dee watched as Colonel Tigh shut off the radio and immediately turned to do absolutely nothing at the console she was working on.


Her gaze dropped from the panel to the small gold band that still graced her left ring finger. The fingers of her right hand twisted the metal for a moment before she shook her head and looked up again.


She caught Colonel Tigh's look, but wasn't sure if what she saw there was pity, horror or worse, understanding. That they'd both been left behind by the people they had supported.


Lee Adama, President of the Colonies. Had he seen this coming when he'd turned in his wings? When he'd walked away from everything? Dee had always known, deep down, that they weren't meant for forever, no matter how hard she'd hoped. No matter how much part of her still hoped.


Pilot. Commander. Lawyer. Delegate. President. Each one signified a step that he took that was further from where she stood. And she'd thought she could hardly aspire to join Lee Adama, pilot. Her mind was still stuck on 'lawyer'. Where could he go from here? Commander, President... Lee Adama had essentially done everything that anyone could hope to do. Except sit back and watch.


That was her job.

Dee Dualla
Battlestar Galactica
225 Words

April 25th, 2008

[Taylor Swift - Picture to Burn] State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy...

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And if you're missing me
You better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health

Sure, she'd done it to herself. And sure, she'd listened to a lot of ridicule in doing so.

"He only married her because he couldn't have Starbuck."

"He only married her because Starbuck married Anders."

"He only married her because-"

Because, because, because.

She'd only married HIM because. Or maybe it was 'in spite of'. In spite of the fact that he loved Starbuck. In spite of the fact that he couldn't have the woman he wanted. In spite of the fact that he flaunted his half-assed affair in front of her and most of the fleet.

And even then, she'd put up with it. She took him back when he'd said he was sorry. Maybe she'd only taken him back because NOT taking him back would have cast a bigger shadow on him, and on his father: someone she would never disrespect. The amount of admiration she had for William Adama would far outweigh the amount of discomfort and humiliation she could (and would) put up with from his son. Dee could never have looked at herself in the mirror again if she'd disappointed the Admiral.

The son who pushed her aside when he didn't need her and clung to her when he did. The son who used her to make a statement to the woman he loved while loving her, too. The son who did far more to disrespect his father and those closest to him than Anastasia Dualla could EVER have done.

Lee Adama, the son. Lee Adama, the hero. Mr. Lee Adama, the civilian, given his walking papers and a plaque, by his wife, in front of the crew of Galactica.

And what did he do? He made a joke. Ill timed at best and callous at worst, Dee smiled, as she always did. "Goodbye, Lee."

A hug and she was back in CIC by the end of the hour. She certainly hoped that by simply wearing her wedding band she wasn't expected to take him back if he changed his mind.


She wasn't sure she was that strong.

Dee Dualla
357 Words (not including lyrics)
Battlestar Galactica

March 22nd, 2008

"It's in your blood... It reaches the soul when words are useless."

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Talking was useless. She could see it in his eyes, his posture. She'd told the truth: He wasn't that easy to read. But this? In this, his emotions were written all over his face and had been since he'd come back from seeing his father. She didn't know what she could say to make the situation better, but she kept talking anyway.

All we can do is make plans for the future. We have to survive. We have to find Earth. If we don't, they'll be no one to remember a man named William Adama. Or a Battlestar named Galactica. That is our charge to keep.

The defeat moved from his posture to his tone, and yet Dee knew that what she'd said was, yet again, the truth. She tried again.

You can do this. You can get us there. You are Commander of this Fleet, and you will guide us to safety. And you will do it no matter the cost. Because you're an Adama.

She hadn't married him because of his name or because of who he was. She'd married him because she loved him. She would always love him, no matter the cost to her heart or mind. It killed her to see him so down on himself, but again, she knew she spoke the truth. If there was something Lee Adama was determined to do, it would be to live up to the pride his father had in him. The pride that everyone had in him. The pride that SHE had in him. He wouldn't let them down because he wouldn't just be letting them down, but his father and himself as well. It was in his blood and who he was and all her talking wasn't going to change that.

Then he spoke and she smiled, a bit embarrassed. Proud to serve with her? Proud to call her his wife? Dee had always done her best to make the CO proud and husband or not, she wanted Lee proud of her. Hearing him say it was just the icing on the cake.

Dee Dualla
Battlestar Galactica
282 Words (minus quotes)
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